Curses On The Dawgs

   What could Georgia have done to tick off the football gods? Not only did the Bulldogs get humbled by Alabama, but they exited the game with injuries to at least four players, including Heisman Trophy hopefuls Knowshon Moreno and Matthew Stafford.

  A few theories:

  --Beloved radio announcer Larry Munson retired last week after 43 years in the booth. It was voluntary on his part, for health reasons, but maybe some higher power was pissed at the last of the legendary SEC radio voices going silent.

  --A group of Georgia alums opened burial plots for ex-Bulldogs players and coaches at a cemetery within marching-band-music distance of the football stadium. Could this be sacred ground, intended for non-jocks?

  --Wearing all black, as Georgia did against Bama, is a fashion faux pas nowadays. Bright is in.

   What's your theory? Can Georgia, blessed with a week off, rebound from this whipping?  

Mixed Signals-Calling

   Coaches at Auburn and Tennessee, whose teams slopped their way to a 14-12 game Saturday that was won (or not lost) by the Tigers, have examined their queasy quarterback situations.

   Tommy Tuberville has decided to stick with Chris Todd, keeping Kodi Burns in reserve. Phil Fulmer, by contrast, has put Jon Crompton on notice that he could step aside for Nick Stephens.

   Why the different approaches? Easy. Auburn is 3-1, still in the SEC West hunt. Tennessee is 1-3 and on the ropes. 

   Also, if Stephens gets the nod, he'll break in against a soft touch, Northern Illinois. Then it's back to the SEC grind.

   You make the call, Tigers and Vols fans: Todd or Burns? Crompton or Stephens?

   

   

1st Weekend Lesson: The Tide Keeps On Rising

   Prior to the season's first kickoff, Alabama was an afterthought in the discussion of potential SEC champions. Maybe, the thinking went, but not likely.

   Before September is out, the Crimson Tide have been the most impressive SEC team, pounding Clemson by 34 points, Arkansas by 35 and Georgia in a less-closer-than-it-looks 11.

   Nick Saban stunned the Dawgs by assigning underappreciated quarterback John Parker Wilson to use the pass to set up the run, a reversal of the Tide's usual approach. On the second play, Bama came out in a five-receiver set, which surely had Georgia coaches futilely scrambling through their game plan for a solution.

   Georgia's multiple momentum advantages -- all-black uniforms, ESPN "GameDay" presence, chance to return to No. 1 -- collapsed in a heap early. Halftime: 31-0. You could have turned out the lights then. But with all the Dawg fans dressed in black, they could not have found their way out of the stadium.

   Any explanation for what happened to UGA?

   Good for AP poll voters to award Bama a No. 2 ranking, thanks to the top spot on 21 of 65 ballots. Curses to the USA Today voters who lifted the Tide only to No. 4, with a lone first-place ballot. Me, I would not hesitate placing the Tide No. 1.

   Anybody wanna talk me out of it?

2nd Weekend Lesson: What Was Meyer Thinking?

   Here's what I saw of Urban Meyer on Florida's last possession in their 31-30 loss to Ole Miss, if the TV guys calling the game were correct on their details:

   --Needing only to pick up about 20 yards for a winning field goal, he calls for home-run passes on first and second downs that fall incomplete, putting the Gators in an unenviable third-and-long;

   --After a 9-yard run, with the ball placed inches from the first-down marker by the officials, Meyer appeals the spot -- which, after video review, got the ball placed back a yard;

   --With a third-stringer at left guard and no running back behind him, Meyer calls the blatantly obvious play -- a Tim Tebow keeper to the right side. Because there was no disguising it, Tebow is stuffed.

   And Meyer coaches the Gators out of a possible win.

   Am I being unfair here? Did you agree with the play-calling?

   AP poll voters demoted the Gators to No. 12, USA Today's to No. 13. Obviously, Florida is superior to teams ranked higher, but the punishment fits the crime of losing to the Rebels.

   Where do you rate the Gators?

     

   

3rd Weekend Lesson: Repeat After Me . . .

    LSU's aspirations of repeating as BCS championships were upgraded Saturday despite a desultory 34-24 win over Mississippi State. The Tigers emerged in the latest polls at No. 3 in AP and No. 2 in USA Today's. As I indicated earlier, Alabama has a better body of work, so I would put LSU at No. 3.

   What do you think: second or third for LSU?

   Just as the Tigers are moving up, so is their running back, Charles Scott, in the Heisman Trophy race. Especially with the candidacies of Florida's Tim Tebow and Georgia's Knowshon Moreno set back by their team's losses, Scott supporters can point to four 100-yard-plus rushing games while anchoring an offense with an undeveloped quarterback.

   How great is Scott? Where do you rank him in the Heisman hierarchy?

    

4th Weekend Lesson: Tigers', Vols' "O" Grade A Zero

   Yeah, yeah, the Auburn and Tennessee defenses kicked tail Saturday. But the Tigers can dismiss any SEC West title hopes if their offense doesn't perk up.

  Turns out, the 3-2 win over Mississippi State was no aberration. Auburn was so helpless in moving out of the shadows of its goal line Saturday that offensive coordinator Tony Franklin, who came to town on a white horse, took to calling quarterback keepers and sweeps -- stuff normally not found in the spread offense playbook.

   What can Auburn do on offense, besides pray that running back Brad Lester heals?

   As for the Volunteers, where have you gone, David Cutcliffe? Oh, there you are, reviving Duke as the new head coach. UT sure misses your offensive coordinating. Your replacement, Dave Clawson, has a clueless quarterback, Jon Crompton, and an uncertain strategy. 

   Game stat of the SEC season: All seven of the Vols' second-half possession began outside their 35-yard-line, and four of those launched in Auburn territory. One lousy score resulted.

   Is it time to replace Crompton? Change the offensive approach? Beg Cutcliffe to reconsider?

    

5th Weekend Lesson: Mainstream Media Don't Know Diddly

   It never fails. Each year, a half-dozen teams open the season 3-0 or 4-0, and sports TV "experts" and sportswriters start fretting about an unbeaten getting shut out of the BCS title game. Or they start carving into stone that so-and-so will be 11-0 entering its last game, automatically assuming the games until then are stone-cold locks.

   Of course, those teams (USC, Florida, Georgia) proceed to lose, week by week, and the media expresses shock at these unfathomable upsets. I prefer another description of them, borrowed from Led Zeppelin: dazed and confused. Folks, in a conference game, there ain't no gimmes anymore. In the big leagues, you cannot expect a squad to maintain a high level of excellence week after week.

   The media is irresponsible to look at, say, a 4-0 team now and say, "They'll be 10-0 heading into the game against . . . " But it happens all the time, without any ifs, ands or buts.

   Well, they look like butts to me when constantly proven wrong.

   Can you see any team that is sure to get through the season unbeaten? 

   

     

Bulldogs: Bullish Again In The Polls?

   Nobody benefited more from Southern Cal's earth-shattering loss Thursday than Georgia. With its brutal schedule, the Bulldogs figure to lose once. But because of its degree of difficulty, that should keep them ahead of USC in the rankings even if the Trojans win out.

   A convincing victory over Alabama could vault Georgia over Oklahoma and back to No. 1, where it began the season. Not that it matters; the object is to finish in the top 2, which puts you in the BCS Championship game. But, nobody wears a giant foam hand with two fingers raised, so you know what the fans want.

   Bama might need flashlights to find their way around Sanford Stadium. It'll be dark, what with the Bulldogs (and most of their fans) clad in black. Mark Richt brought the rarely used uniforms out of mothballs to enliven a game already at fever pitch.

   Word of warning to Tide followers driving through Atlanta to the game: Fill up the tank before leaving. Fuel is scarce in the metro area.

LSU to Media: Keep Out!

   Les Miles closed LSU practices to reporters this week, surely to conceal the physical condition of concussed quarterback Andrew Hatch. Not that any subterfuge should be needed against Mississippi State, but the Tigers have juggled Hatch and Jarrett Lee at the position and they'd like to keep the Bulldogs guessing on which one.

   Look for Lee, who rallied LSU over Auburn, to start, with Hatch in relief if the cobwebs have cleared.

   Bayou Bengal fans: Should Miles stick with a two-QB system, or choose one for full-time duty? 

Another Urban Legend Story?

   No hard feelings, says Ole Miss quarterback Jevan Snead, even though Urban Meyer allegedly lied to him during the recruiting process. Snead, who faces Florida, was quoted in a book about recruiting that Meyer told him the Gators were recruiting Tim Tebow as a linebacker, implying that he would not be competing with the future Heisman Trophy winner. Snead says he looked elsewhere after discovering the truth. Meyer denies the player's account.

   Who do you believe?

   Tebow's numbers this season aren't much better than a linebacker's, so I get the feeling the Gators offense is ready to detonate. Maybe this week.

   Gator fans: Worried about the offense yet?

    

No Razor's Edge Margin Here

   Arkansas takes another shaky step through a frightening four-game gauntlet against No. 7 Texas. A week after their traumatic five-TD loss to then-No. 9 Alabama, the Razorbacks can expect no mercy. The two schools vie for the same high school recruits out of the Lone Star State, and Mack Brown wants to make an impression on any youngsters torn between the two.

   Next up for Arkansas: No. 4 Florida. Then, No. 15 Auburn. Only after that will the Razorbacks get a non-ranked opponent: unbeaten-for-now Kentucky.

   Wonder why Houston Nutt flew the coop for Ole Miss? He saw the schedule, then the "year" column on the roster.

   Those 22 freshmen (including three starters) who Bobby Petrino lifted from the cradle and sent out for duty are growing up fast. Too fast.

Job Openings Galore!!!

   If I give you one guess which SEC coach declared every starting position on offense up for grabs, you should have the right answer pronto.

   Only Steve Spurrier, who has never cracked the coaching handbook that is the Bible of most peers, would have the nads to put every starter on notice four games into the season. But these are desperate times for the punchless Gamecocks.

   Spurrier watchers: Do you think he means it? Or is he just trying to rattle the cage?

   Actually, two spots opened up by themselves with the suspension of a running back and a guard as punishment for missing too many classes. The way this group has been playing, I wonder if the class is Football 101. 

Expensive Exit Strategy For Anti-Fulmer Camp

   If this is Phil Fulmer's last season at the Tennessee helm, he won't be leaving Volunteer-ily. The school would have to pony up a reported $5.5 mil to buy out the big fella.

  Vol fans: Would you contribute to the cause?

   With a third loss staring him in the face Saturday at Auburn, Fulmer was properly defiant this week. He and his staff "didn't all of a sudden get stupid" after reaching the SEC title game five times. "We know what we're doing."

   Anyone who watched the Florida debacle would question that statement. Losing is one thing; getting a new one ripped is quite another.

   What must Fulmer and the Vols accomplish this season to save his job?

Changing Light Bulbs In The SEC

A Yankee pal (well, he's an Indiana Hoosier) passed this along. Now, don't take it seriously, SEC faithful. It's just for laughs.

How about some "change-a-light-bulb" jokes for other leagues?

HOW MANY SEC STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

At VANDERBILT: It takes two, one to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at Harvard.

At GEORGIA: It takes two, one to change the bulb and one to stabilize the rolling beer cooler the bulb changer is using for a ladder.

At FLORIDA: It takes four, one to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get stoned off the old one.

At ALABAMA: It takes five, one to change it, three to reminisce about how The Bear would have done it, and one to throw the old bulb at an NCAA investigator.

At OLE MISS: It takes six, one to change it, two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

At LSU: It takes seven, and each one gets credit for five semester hours.

At KENTUCKY : It takes eight, one to screw it in and seven to discuss how much brighter it seems to shine during basketball season.

At TENNESSEE: It takes ten, two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lamp shade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and talk about how much they hate Alabama.

At MISSISSIPPI STATE: It takes fifteen, one to screw in the bulb, two to buy the Skoal, and twelve to yell, ''Go to hell, Ole Miss." 

At AUBURN: It takes one hundred, one to change it, forty-nine to talk about how they did it better than at Bama and Georgia, and fifty to get drunk and roll Toomer's Corner when finished.

At SOUTH CAROLINA: It takes 80,000 -- one to screw it in and 79,999 to discuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decent football team.

At ARKANSAS: None. There is no electricity in Arkansas

More, more on the Big Four

   I am not a playoff proponent -- are you? -- but I can't blame the SEC hierarchy for endorsing an expanded postseason, such as the so-called Plus-One game that would essentially be akin to the NCAA basketball's Final Four.

   The league is so strong, so deep that any team getting through unscathed is unlikely. Because poll voters are dazzled by a zero on the right side of a team's record, they are inclined to reward on their ballots the unbeaten teams, thus making it difficult for others to reach the BCS Championship Game. (Last year's appearance by two-loss LSU was an aberration.)

   Thus, a Final Four format would benefit the SEC. Its champion almost certainly would qualify. At that point, it's may the best team win -- and there's a good chance that team would be carrying the SEC banner.

   The football powers have turned thumbs-down to any deviation from the current bowl format. If you were the czar, would you change it?

   Meanwhile, here's my ranking of the Big Four's schedule, easiest to hardest, with games remaining:

   --Florida -- Ole Miss, at Arkansas, LSU, Kentucky, Georgia (Jacksonville), at Vanderbilt, South Carolina, The Citadel, at Florida State.

  --LSU: Mississippi State, at Florida, at South Carolina, Georgia (Jacksonville), Tulane, Alabama, Ole Miss, at Arkansas.

   --Alabama -- at Georgia, Kentucky, Ole Miss, at Tennessee, Arkansas State, at LSU, Mississippi State, Auburn.

  --Georgia -- Alabama, Tennessee, Vanderbilt, at LSU, Florida (Jacksonville), at Kentucky, at Auburn, Georgia Tech.

   How do you rank 'em?

  

Georgia's Munson Pulls The Plug

    Larry Munson, the legendary radio voice of Georgia football who turned in his mic Monday because of failing health, was a wordsmith with a dramatic delivery. He was captivating, a joy to listen to . . . 

   If you did not mind occasionally being unaware of what was transpiring on the field.

   And if you weren't offended by each week's games pitting We vs. They.

   Regarding my first gripe, as compelling as Munson's descriptions were, I expect my radio guy to give me on EVERY play what player has the ball, how he got it, who tackles him and where. Like some other acclaimed voices, Munson sometimes left out at least one of those tidbits. As a result, I enjoyed him more while watching the Bulldogs on my muted TV so I could answer those questions on my own.

   What's your take on a play-caller who does not always fully call the plays? Is that alright?

   As to the homer aspect, I realize that Dawg fans embraced Munson because substituting the team name periodically with "We" conveyed the belief that he was on their side, suffering amid them. I understand that appeal, but believe in an appearance of objectivity. The approach also ignores the fact that fans of "They" are tuning in, too.

   How do your ears feel about We vs. They? Do you prefer it?

   While Munson is rightfully acclaimed among cherished radio voices, to me there is -- or never was -- a peer to the late, great Cawood Ledford of Kentucky.

   Who's your all-time favorite?

Now It's A Fearsome Foursome

   Let's fantasize for a moment and create a four-team tournament: Georgia, Florida, LSU and Alabama. Doesn't matter who plays whom. Draw names out of a helmet, for all I care. Semifinals today, finals tomorrow. (Hey, it's a fantasy.)

   The quintessential quartet was masterful on Saturday -- Georgia, Florida and 'Bama winning overwhelmingly, LSU passing a gut-check at Auburn. The SEC was rewarded Sunday when all four crowded into the AP poll's top eight.

   The No. 3 Bulldogs flew nearly 2,000 miles to the desert and had Arizona State for dessert. Coack Mark Richt had the players' hotel room clocks reset to Eastern time, part of a mind game to keep them from thinking they were far from home. The heat -- 99 degrees at kickoff, 96 at game's end -- was less taxing than more humid Columbia, S.C., a week earlier. The result: 27-10.

   The No. 4 Gators obliterated Tennessee 30-6 with its offense a pale comparison to previous years. Tim Tebow keeps slipping in the Heisman race, at least based on his numbers (eight completions, 26 rushing yards). Like he cares. Florida's fabulous defense and special teams are drawing the spotlight.

   The No. 5 Tigers shrugged off an injury to quarterback Andrew Hatch. Thank you, backup Jarrett Lee, who tossed a game-winning TD with a minute left agin' Auburn for a 26-21 win. That's six straight wins for LSU over teams ranked in the top 10. Auburn dipped to No. 15.

   And the No. 9 Crimson Tide, the party-crasher in the foursome after much more modest preseason expectations, pounded Arkansas 49-14. Imagine how 'Bama will fare if they curtail mental mistakes, which perfectionist Coach Nick Saban said reached an unpleasant peak versus the Razorbacks.

   Half of our fantasy comes true next Saturday when Bama invades Georgia (7:45 p.m., ESPN). Florida and LSU have league games against the two Mississippis at home, so the ranks of the unbeatens should dwindle only by one.

   OK, who do you like in our Fantasy Four? Dawgs? Gators? Bayou Bengals? Roll Tide? Let's see your bracket.

   

It's Not Them, It's Me

   Phil Fulmer and Sylvester Croom were reading from the same post-game script after their teams were taken to the woodshed Saturday. Both delivered the "blame me and not the players" post-mortem.

   OK, we will, especially Fulmer, the first SEC coach on the job security hot seat after a 30-6 shellacking from Florida. The Vols' offensive is invisible. In a brutally difficult league at a school with lofty expectations, many Tennessee fans have had their fill of Phil.

   What will it take for Fulmer to save his job?

   At Mississippi State, where the bar is lower, Croom is in no jeopardy (yet), but his Bulldogs were pushovers in a 38-7 drilling even though Georgia Tech lost its quarterback to injury in the first series.

   Croom's hiring, after he was passed over at Alabama, was widely hailed as the best thing for MSU. Can he win there consistently? Can anyone?   

Not On Hot Seat, But Hot Under The Collar

   When accomplished college coaches Steve Spurrier and Bobby Petrino returned to the amateur ranks after bombing in the NFL, they were embraced as prodigal sons, back where they belong.

   Maybe so, but the boss men at South Carolina and Arkansas belong in a decompression chamber today as their seasons got shakier on Saturday.

   The Gamecocks won, but only by 23-13 over Wofford, the tiniest Division 1-A school that puts on the pads. Afterward, Spurrier pondered trying what would be his third starting quarterback, Stephen Garcia, next week. "In a rut," is how the ol' ball coach described his offense, even though it rang up 30 first downs.

   What's up with the offensiveguru? Has he lost his touch?

   Arkansas allowed three plays for over 60 yards apiece and threw interceptions left, center and right in the hammering by Alabama. Two narrow wins over creampuffs plus one loss to a tough-as-cheap-steak team adds up to a wretched start.

   Are the football gods getting back at Petrino for skipping out on the Falcons in midseason last year?

   

   

An SEC Six-Pack

   Vanderbilt made it an even half-dozen in the AP Top 25 rankings today by emerging at No. 21.  A 23-17 win over Ole Miss assured the Commodores their first 4-0 start since 1984.

   Same as for LSU, the loss of a starting quarterback (Chris Nickson) to injury did not spell doom. Mackenzi Adams came to the rescue.

   Vandy, 2-0 in the league with an earlier win over South Carolina, speaks to the power of the SEC. When your traditional 98-pound weakling cracks the polls, you can further lay claim to the nation's primo conference.

   How good are the 'Dores? Can they make one of the Big Five sweat? We'll have to wait until Oct. 4 against Auburn. 

Into The Frying Pan

   The predicted temperature for kickoff for Georgia's game at Arizona State (8 p.m., ABC) is 98 degrees at 5 o'clock in the desert. As if the heat isn't turned up enough literally, the Bulldogs are facing an upset master in Sun Devils coach Dennis Erickson, who was so looking ahead to this game that he let last week's slip away in an overtime loss to UNLV.

   Given the climate, depth is important -- and Georgia goes as deep as an oil drill. The one exception is offensive line, where injuries have chipped away. But the Dawgs survived a furnace in Columbia last week against South Carolina and should be ready for the land of cacti.

   A win could push them past idle Oklahoma, too, and back to No. 2 in the rankings.

   Is that where they belong?

Fo' Mo' Games

   Before we get to the terrific SEC twinbill, other games on one super special Saturday:

   --Alabama will start three freshmen and employ at least five others in the Tide's first venture away from home. Fortunately for 'Bama, it's to Arkansas, which has pulled a couple of wins over substandard foes out of its coonskin hat in the fading minutes. 'Bama should breeze, but their games are often low-scoring, so the Razorbacks could keep you from clicking the remote. How about you? Surely Bobby Petrino hasn't been sandbagging and is laying in wait, right?

  --Vanderbilt visits Ole Miss with oodles of incentive. The Commodores, off to their first 3-0 start since 1984, barely missed out on a Top 25 ranking this week. A win likely gets them into the polls, an area generally off-limits to them. For football geeks, the game boils down to the league's sack leader (Vandy) versus its best sack avoider (Ole Miss). I'm shedding my usual objectivity here. Go, Vandy, and get ranked for a change. Any problem with that?

  --Mississippi State goes from Auburn's spread offense, which it handled well, to Georgia Tech's whatchamacallit offense, which involves option plays, unorthodox positions and blocking schemes. And lots of Goody's Headache Powder for the coaches scheming against it. Tech is in transition, but Missy State is in a tough spot here. I like Tech, by a wee bit. You?

  --South Carolina plays Wofford. South Carolina needs a win. If South Carolina doesn't get a win, its season is headed south, with no likelihood of a U-turn. Can the Gamecocks possibly lose?   

Auburn Statement a Boo-Boo

   Auburn is 3-0, ranked in the nation's Top 10, with a dynamite defense that has been dented for only two touchdowns.

   Still, their 3-2 sleepwalk past Mississippi State has solicited criticism from Tigers fandom this week. So, in a pre-emptive strike before the LSU game (7:45 p.m., ESPN), dean of students Johnny Green pleaded to students in a mass e-mail, "Remember, the team isn't trying to lose the game . . . "

   Thanks for clearing that up, Johnny. We thought maybe the Tigers wanna lose.

   "Please join me by agreeing to demonstrate your support for, and not criticism of, our football team," the statement said. "That means no booing."

   Was this really necessary? Imagine if Auburn were 1-2 or, gosh forbid, 0-3. Would the students be asked to wear happy faces?

   Nice try, Mr. Green, but here's one word for your misguided effort: Boo.

Them's Fightin' Words, Maybe

   Manipulating the media to fir up your team is as old as, well, fire. Tennessee coach Phil Fulmer made certain every player was aware of Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes' comment Monday that the Vols gave up in last year's game. "They quit playing," he said.

   Next day, Spikes' words wound up on a board in UT's practice facility for all to see. Then Fulmer issued a comment atypical of a coach, who generally (in public) dismisses such a remark as a throwaway line from an excitable young man with no malicious intent.

   Fulmer said Spikes probably was parroting the coaches. Then: "If they don't respect us, why are they practicing?"

   To which I ask: If a talented team loses 59-20, what other explanation is valid other than it let up?

   What do you think about bulletin board material? Does it have the impact coaches think?

   The Vols are in deep doo-doo Saturday (3:30 p.m., CBS). Florida's offense has barely awakened, but it is growing healthier and is so deep at positions such as running back, they could run an A and B team.

   The smartest comment uttered this week was by the Vols' Johathan Crompton saying he felt no pressure, noting "Pressure is being over in Iraq, fighting for your country."

   But the sore-ankled quarterback will feel another sort of pressure, from a ravenous Gators pass rush.

   If there is any real pressure, in the sports context, is on Fulmer, who doesn't win enough big games? This one? Real big. 

   Can you envision a Vols' win? Make your case.

SEC QBs: After The Big Two, Then Who?

   For as high and mighty a league as the SEC, its quarterbacks, top to bottom, comprise an unimpressive lot.

   Yeah, you've got Tim Tebow (Florida) and Matthew Stafford (Georgia), a pair of sure-fire pros. But after them . . . 

   WHO DO YA LOVE?: Kentucky and South Carolina have yet to throw their support behind one man. The Wildcats are doubling up with Mike Hartline and Randall Cobb; the Gamecocks have a threesome in Chris Smelley, Tommy Beecher and Stephen Garcia. Auburn chose Chris Todd over just last week, but Todd cannot feel too secure after the Tigers scored but three points.

   AND YOU ARE . . . ?: Andrew Hatch (LSU), Jevan Snead (Ole Miss) and Jonathan Crompton (Tennessee) are first-time starters still feeling their way around. None has yet to show any Tebow-ish or Stafford-ish skills.

   WINNER BY DEFAULT?: Chris Nickson (Vanderbilt) was demoted last season before resurfacing this year. Wesley Carroll (Mississippi State) started all but four games in '07 and leads a tepid MSU offense.

   BEST OF THE REST?: Casey Dick (Arkansas) has rung up decent numbers against two softies but is about to run smack-dab into a four-game stretch of frightening defenses. John Parker Wilson (Alabama) has shows a steady hand at Alabama, but that hand usually gives the ball to running backs.

   Tebow and Stafford and 10 (or more) take-'em-or-leave-'ems. That's how I see it.

   Who would you take, the Gator or the Bulldog. Beyond those two, who'd be your next pick?

   

     

Hate 'em or hate 'em: Woe is Steve and Bobby

   One is a NASCAR-type bad guy in college circles. The other's name is dirt in the NFL.

   Many SEC observers are likely taking glee in the tough times of Steve Spurrier and Bobby Petrino, who face lo-o-o-o-ng seasons without a reversal of fortunes.

   Spurrier has dropped seven of eight games at South Carolina. The culprit this year is offense, where his influence is greatest, given that the accomplished strategist calls three-fourths of the plays. For the most part, he turns over the defense to his coordinator.

   "Blocking and throwing and catching has been our biggest problem," says Spurrier, whose wisecracks and occasional jabs at others suggests he enjoys wearing the black hat. "We haven't had a consistent running attack or a consistent passing attack. How's that?"

   Not good, especially since he views the roster as his most talented yet at the school.

   Worse, the Gamecocks have shelved receiver Kenny McKinley, their main threat, for at least another week with an injury. As consolation, the next opponent is Wofford.

   Then there is Arkansas, which could face four straight Top 10 teams for the first time in NCAA history in a single season. The Razorbacks confront No. 9 Alabama this week, followed by a makeup with No. 7 Texas, then No. 4 Florida and No. 10 Auburn.

   Under new coach Bobby Petrino, who fled the scorned Atlanta Falcons in the middle of last season and probably shut the door on future head jobs in the NFL, the Razorbacks had hoped to rev up for the scary run with blowout wins. But they eked past Western Illinois and Lousiana-Monroe by a combined five points.

   "Change is hard on everybody, and particularly seniors," said Petrino, explaining the slow start. "They've got to work on buying in."

   Outside of their own communities, few tears are being shed for Spurrier and Petrino. Perhaps the pair should look forward to Nov. 8, when one is sure to win. It's Arkansas vs. S.C. in Columbia.

   What are your feelings toward the two coaches? Love to see 'em suffer?

   

Starting The Real SEC Season

    "Whoa, Nellie," as announcer and Georgia native Keith Jackson might exclaim. The temperature will be turned up in the SEC on Saturday with a delicious doubleheader that launches the division races.

   In the East, it's Florida at Tennessee (3:30 p.m., CBS). The fourth-ranked Gators had a week off to tune up for the Volunteers, spent mainly on cranking up the offense after an uninspiring performance against Miami. Coach Urban Meyer is 3-0 against UT.

   Tennessee, for its part, rebounded against UAB after handing over a gift-wrapped win to UCLA. Some Vols players bitched about Florida running up the score last year in a 59-20 rout, a charge renewed recently after his game by UM coach Randy Shannon. But UT coach Phil Fulmer dismissed any ill intent by the Gators. He is more concerned about his quarterback, Jonathan Crompton, still less than comfortable behind center.

   On the West side, it's LSU at Auburn (7:45 p.m., ESPN). The No. 6 Tigers from the bayou must cope without standout linebacker Darry Beckwith, declared out with a sore knee. In their favor, the spread offense by No. 7 Tigers from the plains won't be unfamiliar, seeing as how the Tigers have faced a similar attack in their two prior games.

   Auburn's offense coordinator, the refreshing Tony Franklin, is the willing target of criticism after three shaky outings, the latest which produced only a field goal against Mississippi State. "The first finger that needs to be pointed is at me," said the coach, who presumably meant an index finger and not the one next to it.

   Franklin says he will shrink the playbook and call plays based on more instinct rather than with a confining script. Meantime, his boss, Tommy Tuberville -- a former defensive coordinator --  is one of few who found beauty in the Tigers' 3-2 victory.

   Who do you like in these games? Florida or Tennessee? LSU or Auburn?

   Let the games begin. 

   

Five and Ten: SEC Dominates AP Poll

If the BCS Championship Game were teeing off this week, your favorite league might be sitting it out. But the SEC has so many teams within sniffing distance of the top two, at least in the sportswriters' rankings, the prospects are sunny for a berth in the big 'un.
Roll call: Georgia, No. 3 . . . Florida No. 4 . . . LSU No. 6 . . . Alabama No. 9 . . . Auburn No. 10.
The Bulldogs, who have retreated two slots since being ranked No. 1 after the season's first week, earned an underappreciated win over South Carolina by an unsexy 14-7. Oklahoma boogied ahead of Georgia with its third straight 50-point outburst, this time against Washington. The Sooners could stay there until they confront Texas on Oct. 11 -- and beyond.
A bye did not affect the Gators either way from the previous week. LSU inched up from No. 7 because of Ohio State's crash-and-burn against Southern Cal. Auburn's 3-2 head-scratcher against Mississippi State cost the Tigers a spot, and the Crimson Tide gets statewide bragging rights this week by ascending two steps from No. 11.
The low-scoring games that characterize the SEC, more so than other conferences, may unduly impact some voters who are dazzled by big scoreboard numbers. Yet, one league owning half of the nation's top 10 speaks deafeningly to the respect aimed our way.

No Dawg-Pounding in Columbia

Steve Spurrier stomped. Grimaced. Kicked imaginary objects. Squeezed his cap. And that was just in one series.
The ol' ball coach can't stomach letting an upset get away, and South Carolina had Georgia reeling. First down at the Bulldogs' 2, late in the day, he called a toss sweep that ended with a fumble to the other guys. A subsequent drive to the UGA 27 came up pointless, too. Final score: 14-7.
Spurrier must feel he's on a treadmill -- running fast, going nowhere. The Gamecocks have a close-but-no-cig habit against superior foes.
Honestly, do you feel a tad bit sorry for Spurrier? Or, given that he called about two-third of the plays, no pity?
Light a stogie for Mark Richt, a phenomenal 26-4 in away games since enlisting with Georgia. It was his staff's brilliant quarterback keeper call for Matthew Stafford to set up the Dogs' sole TD that spelled the difference.

Weird, wild stuff -- In-League Version

Three-two.
What is that? Sets won in a Nadal-Federer championship tennis match? The low-alcohol beer we used to makes runs to Ohio for? The last seconds of a NASA countdown to liftoff?
Nope. A football final, Auburn over Mississippi State. The Tigers' D was awesome, baby. But, come on, two fumbles in the late stages, both of which gave the Bulldogs a chance to win by the bizarr-o score of 5-3? Auburn ducked not just one bullet, but a fusilade.
Tigers coach Tommy Tuberville, as a former defensive coordinator, saw beauty where the rest of us saw ugly. Good D should be applauded, but critical turnovers and an anemic offense by a top 10 team might send Auburn fans to drink. And not 3.2 beer.
What say you, Tiger followers? Any worries?

Weird, Wild Stuff -- Out-of-League Version

So, bored by the perfectionist Southern Cal, the best semi-amateur team on the planet, I switch to SportsCenter and video of Kentucky lining up for a gimme field goal with a 20-14 lead and 20 seconds to kill. Next thing I notice, Middle Tennessee State is three feet from paydirt when the clock runs dry.
The Kentucky field goal was blocked and should have been returned for six had the wimpy retriever not sidled out of bounds. Then a Hail Jesus-Mary-and-Joseph pass covered 61 yards when 62 were needed.
Coach Rich Brooks took blame for sending out a kicker who had missed three attempts already, but I don't fault him. An easy field goal puts the game on ice.
Any bitching about Brooks' call?
Afterward, offensive coordinator Joker Phillips produced the SEC quote of the day in bitching about his guys: "You see guys in pre-game singing Kanye West songs. How can they freaking understand every word that he sings and they can't understand the freaking signals?"
Maybe Joker should get Kanye to recite the playbook on a team-issued CD.

Why The SEC is the Baddest-Ass League, Part 47

Thanks (or no thanks) to Kentucky, your finger-lickin' good SEC teams are 21-2 in non-league play. The spoilers: Wake Forest on an ultra-late field goal to shatter Ole Miss, Louisiana Tech on a small-school football clinic at Mississippi State.
Other than the Mildcats in Lexington, the SEC fraternity had it easy, though Vanderbilt was level with Rice at halftime before smelling the roses 38-21. LSU drilled North Texas State 41-3, Ole Miss sleep-walked over Samford 34-10 and Alabama gutted Western Kentucky 41-7.
A harsh spotlight was on Tennessee, tripped up in its previous game by UCLA. The Vols cut back on their "crapload of plays" from L.A., says wide recever Gerald Jones, and beat the crap out of UAB 35-3. UT would love a mulligan against the Bruins, which lost to BYU by something llike 123-0 Saturday. Or so it seemed.
Amid the non-league pushers, one figures to push back next week. Arizona State lures Georgia into the desert.
Concerned about the Sun Devils, Dawg fans?

Game of the Week I

You're a South Carolina fan. You hear about five players engaging in a lunchroom brawl Thursday that involved flying chairs and turned-over tables.
Your first thought: Everybody OK? Your second thought: Oh, no, are any of these guys starters?
Sigh-of-relief time. No injuries reported. And no regulars involved, which means no significant suspensions for the Georgia game.
Turns out, the quarrelsome quintet was provoked by non-student intruders, so none will likely be sat down. (Still, whatever happened to walking away from a fight?)
So, it's back to the business of the Gamecocks showing more fight on the field. This rivalry tends to produce close, tense games. Steve Spurrier had two extra days to drill his anemic offense after a Thursday night setback to Vandy, but it may not be enough time against a ferocious defense.
Don't expect the ol' ball coach to fire his play-caller. That would be Steve Spurrier Jr.

Game of the Week II

Auburn running backs coach Eddie Gran, focusing this week on curtailing fumbles, described a drill thusly: "We knock the dog pee out of each other . . . "
Shouldn't it be Mississippi State -- the Bulldogs -- who are spilling canine urine?
Both teams step up in class in their Starkville showdown after two relatively tissue opponents apiece, though MSU did lose its opener at Louisiana Tech and Auburn was no great shakes against Southern Miss.
Motivation sides with the Tigers, stunned by MSU in Auburn last year. Tommy Tuberville has settled on a quarterback, Chris Todd, who has not exactly earned the gig clear-cut in the new spread offense that has yet to spread its wings.
MSU is no, uh, piss-ant, against Auburn and will hang tough but, well, pee-ter out at the end.

Sandwich Special

SEC teams are most vulnerable to upsets when they venture out of conference for an apparent gimme game scheduled between two league and/or tough foes.
On Saturday, Tennessee tackles UAB in the middle of UCLA and Florida. The Volunteers should repel the upset bug because they were humbled by the Bruins and have had 12 days to feel the burn. Besides, UAB has been pummeled for 94 points in two setbacks.
Ole Miss welcomes Samford a week after Wake Forest, with Vanderbilt looming. Like the Vols, the Rebs are stinging from a last-gasp loss on a field goal, so Houston Nutt should have them primed enough for a win.
Then there is Vanderbilt -- coming off an emotional trumping of South Carolina, with Ole Miss awaiting next week. The Commodores are host to Rice, impressive in two wins, the latter at usually testy Memphis.
Look no further for a Saturday surprise. Vandy's in a heap o' trouble.
What's yours? Are any SEC favorites goin' down?

The Kick Heard 'Round The Country

Florida may be the lone SEC member with a scheduled bye this week -- Hurricane Ike forced one on Arkansas -- but the Gators' unnecessary late-game passing and field goal long after the win over Miami was in the bank made them the most talked-about league team.
'Canes alum Warren Sapp called UF coach Urban Meyer a "classic dirtbag." A columnist smeared UM's Randy Shannon as "the softest football coach I've ever seen." Another pointed out that Shannon did much the same a week earlier against Charleston Southern.
I still say Meyer was wrong and, more so, he wouldn't have poured it on if UM were on next year's schedule. At the same time, I agree that the game goes 60 minutes and players on the field should apply full effort. To me, that does not extend to the play-calling. Close the book, coaches.
Further, those taking Meyer's side inadvertently are further separating college football from the ideal of a sport played by amateur college students who should learn sportsmanship above all else.
Who's in the wrong here? Meyer or Shannon?

Ready, Set, Ike!

   When weather forecasters determined that Hurricane Ike was headed away from Louisiana and toward Texas, two SEC teams seemed to have benefitted.

   LSU's home date with North Texas State is on, meaning the Tigers will finally get a game under the lights after one was moved up to a matinee and the other postponed -- all blamed on Gustav. LSU loves to play under the stars. Agree, Tiger fans?

   And Arkansas may welcome the two extra weeks to before confrontin Texas after their encounter in Austin was pushed back to Sept. 27. The Razorbacks have bumbled through two narrow wins over lower-level foes, though they don't exactly have a soft touch next weekend: Alabama.

   What's wrong with the Hogs, anyway? 

TV or not TV -- That Ain't the Question

   As CBS enters its eighth season with the coveted 3:30 p.m. (Eastern) time slot for Saturday games, the Birmingham News got out its calculator and compiled number of appearances per school. The clear leader was Florida at 33, followed by Georgia and Alabama (27), LSU (24) and Tennessee (23). The next level drops to Auburn (16) and Arkansas (15), on down to Vanderbilt (one).

   So, we totaled up wins for each CBS favorite over the seven preceding seasons and found the least deserving school by that measure is the Crimson Tide (1.85 wins per CBS appearance.) Georgia (2.29) and Florida (2.21) deserved its exposure, while LSU (2.70) and Tennessee (2.69) were underplayed.

   Which team, other than your own, would you like to watch on any given Saturday?   

Highlights Snub A Low Blow?

   Knowshon Moreno's leap of faith over a Central Michigan defender on Saturday (www.youtube.com.user/ugahairydogs) has been eye-opening enough to attract some 180,000 views on YouTube through Wednesday afternoon, but apparently did not make the cut on ESPN SportsCenter on Saturday.

   Georgia coach Mark Richt, normally not one to bite the hand that feeds him, took offense at the omission. "They missed the boat or didn't do their homework or whatever," he said.

   He couldn't help but add that a similar play by Tim Tebow would have been automatic.

   Take a look at the video. Impressed or not? The play covered 29 yards, most of them before Moreno hurdled the Chippewa.

   Impressed the hell out of me, by the way.

Taking No Quarter(back)

   For being such a dominant league, the SEC launched its season with surprisingly many unsettled quarterback roles. This week, one case was solved (for now) while at least two others remain in a time-share situation.

   At Auburn, coach Tommy Tuberville gave the nod to Chris Todd after saying Kodi Burns looked lackadaisical. Todd put up a pair of good/bad zeroes against Southern Miss -- no TD passes, no picks. The coach's apparent thinking: Better safe than sorry.

   Is Todd the right guy for Auburn?

   At South Carolina, Steve Spurrier plans to employ Tommy Beecher and Chris Smelley, which suggests he is uneasy with both. If I were one of them, I might prefer to have Saturday off, seeing as how vaunted receiver Kenny McKinley is idled by injury.

   Is it about time for the ol' ball coach to choose one?

  Same at Kentucky, where Rich Brooks is playing eeny, meeny, miney, mo between Mike Hartline and Randall Cobb. They will trade off Saturday. Unlike the Gamecocks, who face mighty Georgia, the Wildcats have a few weeks to sort things out, what with Middle Tennessee State and Western Kentucky on the sked.

   Who should it be at Kentucky?

Almost Perfect, But Lots Of Imperfections

   If not for a last-gasp field goal by Wake Forest that messed up Ole Miss, the SEC goes 8-0 against foreign and largely inferior foes on Saturday.

   Still, there wasn't much to wrote home -- or write here -- about. Georgia did maul Central Michigan 56-17, but the Chippewas have been mincemeat against BCS types lately. Florida handled Miami 26-3 but led late by only six points.

   Neighbors Auburn and Alabama won by two TDs each, the Tigers by 27-13 over frequent upset maker Southern Miss but the Crimson Tide 20-6 over a Tulane team displaced by Hurricane Gustav.

   Arkansas lucked out again, rallying from 18 down to nip Louisiana-Monroe 28-27. Kentucky gave up three points, one more than the previous week, but it was to lower-level Norfolk State in a 38-3 decision.

   So, let's hear it for Mississippi State, 34-10 over Southeastern Louisiana in a successful but hardly memorable week for your favorite league.

   Hey, at least it's not the ACC.

   Were you more impressed than me?   

Shame On You, Gators

   The Un-Sportsmanship Award goes to the Gators.

   With a lead as safe as the gold at Fort Knox, Florida starting QB Tim Tebow threw two passes inside the final two minutes before Florida kicked a field goal -- thus kicking Miami while it was down.

   The ESPN apologists said Urban Meyer was just playing the system, ringing up extra points to impress the pollsters. Puh-leeze. Yeah, like voters will be FAR more impressed with a 26-3 win instead of 23-3.

   Have you ever seen a lower-blow move in recent years by an SEC member?

   The stratagem was gutless, surely made possible by the fact that Meyer will be long gone from Gatorland when the teams play again, probably in 2013.

   Worse, the field goal enabled the Gators to cover the point spread. Nothing nefarious here, in all likelihood, but even the appearance of strange play-calling that impacts the gamblers should be avoided.

   Maybe some old Gator reminded Meyer that Miami kicked a last-second field goal in 1980 in a 31-3 Hurricanes' win in Gainesville. Hopefully, he has a more plausible excuse.

Why The SEC Is The Baddest-Ass League, Part 45

   Which SEC team performed farthest last week below potential? Alabama.

   Which SEC team moved up in the polls? Alabama.

   Huh?

   The Tide was elevated from 13th to 11th by AP voters, who must have clicked the Clemson game on their TiVo by mistake over the weekend and thought it was a live broadcast. 

   Georgia (No. 2), LSU (No. 7) and Auburn (No. 9) held steady, while Florida inched one spot to No. 4.

   That's five spots among the top 11 for one league. Awesome, baby.

   Will the SEC make it a six-pack in the rankings this week? If so, which team cracks the elite? 

   

Hello, Heisman Race

The nation will soon know Knowshon, if it doesn't already. Georgia running back Knowshon Moreno got the numbers (168 rushing yards, 3 TDs) and the YouTube clip (a leap over a defender on a 29-yard run) to literally vault into the Heisman Trophy chase. At worst, he has drawn even with defending champ Tim Tebow. The Florida quarterback rang up decent passing numbers (21-of-35, 2 TDs) but was pounded repeatedly on his trademark runs.

The ballot is yours. Which player gets your vote through two weeks of the season? 

Bulldogs: No Boo-Hoos for No. 2

     A few citizens in the Georgia camp have gotten their shorts bunched up over Southern Cal slipping past the Bulldogs in the national rankings.

   Well, they must have been celebrating their whopping 24-point win over Georgia Southern and missed the Trojans eviscerating Virginia on TV. USC did it the old-fashioned way; they earned it. No. 1, I mean.

   Some pollsters stick with their top pick until they lose, paying little heed what happens to the teams rated just beneath them. Wrong! They should reward a No. 2 or a 3 if those schools are more impressive or achieve a more significant win than the top dog. Or, in this case, the top Dawg.

   Alright, where would you rank Georgia this week?

   Of the SEC eight-pack on Saturday, the Bulldogs' game shapes up as the most action-packed. Invading Athens is Central Michigan and spread-master QB Dan LeFevour.

   Florida's prime-timer against Miami (Fla.) conjures memories of a classic in-state family squabble, but it's gone sour with the Canes in extended rebuilding mode. Percy Harvin and Brandon Spikes, idled last week by injuries, suit up to tilt the scales even more toward the Gators.

   The ACC can square the score in its fading rivalry with the SEC if Wake Forest handles Ole Miss. Alabama, which hammered Clemson last week, should survive any hangover against Tulane, uprooted this week by the hurricane. (The storms did push LSU's game with Troy back to Nov. 15.) Ditto Kentucky, which welcomes Norfolk State six days after its emotional stuffing of Louisville. 

   Auburn switches starting QBs against Southern Miss, though the Tigers insist that is according to preseason plan. Arkansas and Mississippi State ought to breeze past Louisiana-Monroe and Southeastern Louisiana, respectively, but no telling after one got lucky and the other lost last week.

   With an undeserved day of rest, Tennessee kicks back and wonders how Vanderbilt, which stomped on South Carolina Thursday, is suddenly the football toast of the state.  

A-'Dore-ing: Vandy Has Spurrier Singin' The Blues

   Before kickoff Thursday in Nashville, South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier visited The Country Music Hall of Fame, where one of his faves, Kenny Chesney, is honored. Hours later, the Chesney hit "Don't Blink" became the Gamecocks' unwanted theme song.

   As in, "Don't Blink" or you will miss Carolina's brief stay in the top 25 poll.

   The Gamecocks, advancing to No. 24 this week, will vanish after a second straight loss to Vanderbilt, this time 24-17. The ol' ball coach exudes so little confidence in his offense that he orders punts and safe play calls not designed to earn a first down.

   The 'Dores had not whupped a ranked team at home in 16 years. Good for them.

   Some SEC subscribers mock Vandy for its relatively lower -- some would say "sensible" -- emphasis on football. Me, I admire it and pull for the 'Dores when they are not playing my team.

   How do you look at Vandy? To be laughed at? Or admired? 

Yankees, Go Home -- And Don't Take Our Pies

   The ESPN Thursday crew was in the dark when a member quizzed them on which culinary treat was the traditional complement to RC Colas in the South. The announcers exposed a lack of cultural knowledge by not having a clue that nothing washes down a Moon Pie better than an RC. After all, there are festivals and road races named after the classic combo. Hey, nitwit network, next time send some true southerners to call an SEC game.

   Ah, Moon Pies. Do you still eat 'em? Do you miss 'em? Or, good riddance?    

Why The SEC Is The Baddest-Ass League, Part 44

   Your beloved conference not only led the land of red and blue states in football attendance last season for the 10th straight year, it dominated the Top 10 list of individual schools for most patrons.

   Would you believe Nos. 4 through 9 are SEC-only?

   The NCAA ranks by total turnstile count, not average per game, so Auburn jumped up to No. 5 because of eight home games. The others had seven.

   We list the NCAA order, with average attendance in parentheses:

  No. 4 Tennessee (103,918)

  No. 5 Auburn (84,689)

  No. 6  Georgia (92,706)

  No. 7 LSU (92,619)

  No. 8 Alabama (92,138)

  No. 9 Florida (90,388)

   What's the toughest ticket in the league? Do you have trouble securing a ducat for your team?

   

Do You Smell-ey An Upset?

   Last season, Chris Smelley was sacked four times and harassed non-stop as South Carolina, then ranked No. 6, lost 17-6 to Vandy that sent its season into a downward spiral.

   So, who does Steve Spurrier switch to after spinning his revolving QB door after just one game this year?

   Yup, Smelley.

   The next opponent? Vandy.

   Given that the Thursday night special is in Nashville, a whiff of upset is in the approaching autumn air.

   Here's the prob, four-fold. The Gamecocks' sickly offense was healing toward the end of the N.C. State game. Last year's outcome will keep them from taking the Commodores lightly. Vandy coach Bobby Johnson has yet to win a Big Game at home. And the home-field edge that usually is heightened on weeknight affairs is compromised here with laid-back Vandy fans out-lunged by Gamecocks invaders.

   Here's guessing South Carolina will slam the door on the 'Dores. 

   If you have a four-fold counter argument, let's hear it.

   

   

"I Wish They All Could Be Tennessee Vols"

   That's what West Coast football teams must be singing, to the tune of the Beach Boys' "California Girls," after another season-opening spankfest of Tennessee. One year after losing to Cal-Berkeley, the Vols got snuffed by another California school with inferior talent, UCLA. And don't blame the kicker. Had the offense not gone backwards on three possessions in regulation, he would not have had to prayer up a trio of 50-yard-plus field goals (one of them wiped out by penalty).   

    Give a game ball to the master, new/old UCLA offensive coordinator Norm Chow. Remember where he was last year? (Hint: Too close for comfort, Knoxvillians.)

   And did you get the impression Chow and resurrected boss Rick Neuheisel have a better handle on a game than Phil Fulmer and sidekicks?