More Coaching Craziness

   Let's put it in perspective at Auburn. The school selected a coach (Gene Chizik of Iowa State) with a career record of 5-19. He replaces Tommy Tuberville -- 85-40 with the Tigers, including a perfect season just four years ago -- who (a.) was fired (2.) was forced out, or (3.) resigned.

   Chizik, a former Auburn coordinator, may be qualified, but this has to be a tough sell, especially to the Tuberville supporters, some of whom organized a march directed at the school president.

   What do you think of the hire?

   Tuberville owes it to the Auburn family to clarify the circumstances under which he departed. The university maintains he quit. He has stayed silent on the matter. Time to open up, Tub.

   Which of the three possibilities listed above do you buy regarding Tuberville?

   A rare moment of sanity regarding SEC coaches touched Tennessee when the school decided not to pay Phil Fulmer a salary as an assistant to the president. The earnings would have been pocket change to Fulmer, who will receive a $6 million buyout. Better late than never, somebody noted that the appearance of further fattening Phil's bank account looked awful.

   Do you agree with the decision?

   He will now serve voluntary duty.

 

'Tis The Season For Coaching Craziness

   It's the time of year when most SEC news is generated by the old guys wearing headphones on the sidelines.

   --Auburn's insistence that its head coach resigned -- and was not fired -- was denied by Tuberville. Not Tommy, but Olive -- his mother. 

   She claims to have it on good authority that her son was forced out. Tommy has not commented, a wise move given his intent to continue working for the university. Still, somebody needs to clear this up.

   Which account do you believe?

   This just in: Georgia assistant Rodney Garner interviewed Monday for the Auburn gig. 

   --It's par for the course that colleges will try to cherry-pick the coaching staff of a BCS finalist, which is happening at Florida. Mississippi State has shown interest in offensive coordinator Dan Mullen. Another Dan, assistant head coach McCarney, was linked to New Mexico, but it filled the position Monday with someone else.

   Shouldn't defensive coordinator Charlie Strong be generating interest? Not only does he have an impressive resume, but colleges inspired to do the right thing would get bonus points by hiring Strong and reversing the decline in black head coaches, now at three nationwide.

   Is Strong ready to serve as head coach?

   --Two former Gators coaches kept Florida from a No. 1 ranking in the USA Today coaches poll. Steve Spurrier and Ron Zook listed UF second behind Oklahoma. Had either reversed his vote, the Gators would have wound up on top.

   Spurrier's affection for Florida is well-established. Should he have helped out the ol' alma mater?

  --Phil Fulmer will answer the next two months to Tennessee's university president as a special assistant. His salary: $12,500 per month, plus benefits.

   His duties will include assisting the college planning for $48 million in budget cuts. Fulmer may be the right guy, but is anybody cringing at a guy getting paid $6 million not to coach by the school's athletics department advising them on saving money?

   Anyone bothered by this?   

Rain May Make Saturday Predictions All Wet

   Predicted rain across the Southeast on the final Saturday of the regular season could impact games to different degrees.

   --For No. 1, Alabama, its power running game should not be thrown off against Auburn. The Tigers' only winning scenario is a 17-14 type of game, but they would have trouble hitting that total under sunny skies. Weather edge to Alabama.

   Worried, Crimson Tide fans?

   --For Tennessee, showers could put a damper on Philip Fulmer Appreciation Day and help Kentucky, which can get off the bowl fence with a victory.

   Now, for the three intrastate rival games:

   --Georgia Tech, which hardly ever passes, could benefit the most. The Yellow Jackets, who employ a post-modern wishbone offense, would welcome a slippery field against Georgia, which throws the 'skin extremely well.

   --Multi-faceted Florida is unlikely to be affected by any inclement weather, short of a blizzard. That won't happen in Tallahassee against Florida State.

  --With South Carolina, who knows? Steve Spurrier will X-and-O to the death to beat Clemson, but the Tigers have greater incentive assuming they want to remove the interim tag from coach Dabo Swinney.

    Which of the three SEC teams is most likely to stumble against their stately neighbors?

   Then there is the SEC-ACC brain bowl, Vanderbilt vs. Wake Forest. These are smart people, right? So they'll figure out how to cope with rainy conditions.

   One more thing: Can Florida climb higher than No. 2 with a butt-whipping of the Seminoles?

    

    

Ex-Raider To The Lost Ark

   Tennessee athletics director Mike Hamilton is digging furiously to get out of a hole of his own creation. Meaning, the hole may be getting deeper.

   Hamilton infamously extended Philip Fulmer's contract last season, only to fire him this season -- to the awful tune of a $6 million buyout.

   Now he appears poised to hand the orange reins to the unproven 33-year-old Lane Kiffin. The guy has the most misleading NFL reference imaginable on his resume -- head coach of the Raiders, which doesn't count, given Oakland's sorry state. He had a short stint as offensive coordinator at Southern Cal -- not too shabby, until you notice he shared play-calling duties with another aide.

    Because of the Fulmer buyout, Hamilton may have restricted himself in the coaching search with a maximum $2 million-a-year salary package. Sad to say, that's relatively cheap for an SEC power, and it probably eliminated potential suitors.

   On the bright side, Kiffin has the reputation as an effective recruiter, which fills a need at talent-depleted Tennessee. Still, wouldn't you think the Vols could have tapped a more season successor to Fulmer?

   Who should they have hired?

   We pick on Hamilton a lot, so let's applaud him for green-lighting "Philip Fulmer Appreciation Day" at Saturday's game against Kentucky. It's not too often a fired coach gets to exit to such recognition.

   Of course, if Kentucky ends a quarter-century losing skein to the Vols, the longest existing streak in the nation, the party will be spoiled. Still, nice move, Mike.

   Do you think Fulmer deserves his day? 

Rebel Swell: Ole Miss Cottons To Big Bowl

The Cotton Bowl is no longer a top-tier postseason game. Still, Ole Miss could not have aspired higher at the dawn of the season.
Now, having stomped on a fallen-and-can't-get-up LSU on Saturday, the Rebels likely will be pickin' Cotton if they handle Mississippi State. Their resume is enhanced by the upset over Florida.
Could you have imagined Ole Miss excelling so quickly under first-year coach Houston Nutt?
Missy State's win over Arkansas reduces the SEC's bowl contenders to nine. Auburn gets the axe if it bows to Alabama.
The Kentucky-Vanderbilt loser will dip to 6-6 but, with bowl berths as plentiful as BCS bashers, probably will squeeze in before the door closes. The Commodores, who took two steps back in a beatdown from Tennessee, would be less than appealing because they would have gone 2-6 after a 4-0 start.
Where do you see your favorite team headed for the holidays?

Take A Breath, SEC Fans -- But Not A Deep One

   It's SEC lite this weekend, with only four games, none of any magnitude. But the three conference matchups carry fetching subplots and all, if the betting public knows its stuff, are anticipated to be close.

   --Vanderbilt, which has beaten Tennessee once in the last quarter-century, ranks as a three-point favorite. In between game-planning, Phil Fulmer has placed calls to colleagues for advice on his next coaching move. Here's some advice: Beat the Commodores and salvage a speck of football dignity from the season.

   Is this Vandy's year to start balancing out this one-sided rivalry?

  --LSU, not long ago in the national title discussion, is a mere three-point fave at home against resurgent Ole Miss. The Tigers' resurrection from near-death against Troy was impressive but it verified that LSU, with spotty QB play and an inconsistent defense, is second tier this year.

   Inconceivable at the start of the season, can the Rebels give LSU a run for the money?

   --Arkansas picked itself up after a dreadful start and is somehow a road favorite in the SEC, if only against Mississippi State (and by one point). Bobby Petrino has steered this young team into position for to contend next year in the SEC West. Well, for third place, maybe.

   Who wins this one?

And the Vols' Next Coach Is . . . ?

   If Brian Kelly of Cincinnati is Tennessee's choice to succeed Phil Fulmer, as reported by local media, that's not exactly the blockbuster announcement predicted by, ahem, "sources" to the cbssportsline.com college crew.

   But it wouldn't be a bad selection.

   Tennessee's name is well-established in football circles, so the school doesn't necessarily need to hire Mike Leach or Tommy Tuberville to lure recruits. All that should matter is the right coaching fit.

   Kelly would do well to defeat Pitt on Saturday, with the Big East title on the line, to enhance his candidacy.

   Jim Leavitt's hat also is squarely in the ring. The South Florida coach is among the most fiery in the land, and his teams overachieved until taking a step back this season.

   Is Kelly a good match for the Vols? How about Leavitt?

   If not them, then who?

    

Vandy Is (Finally) Dandy

   Two-and-a-half cheers for Vanderbilt, which took five games for its sixth win. No big deal to most SEC schools, but a W over Kentucky makes the Commodores (6-4) eligible for its first bowl in 26 seasons.

   Now, 6-6 isn't a sure thing for bowling, but it's probable. Besides, the 'Dores have two shots at a seventh victory, against Tennessee and Wake Forest.

   Does anyone share the feel-goodness ofVandy?

   The Wildcats (6-5) also can pick on Tennessee for No. 7, which means the Volunteers could be stepping-stones for two historically SEC lightweights to extend their seasons.

   Can the Vols rise up and damper things for two of its rivals?  

   

Take a (Short) Breath This Weekend

   The SEC schedule is absent a blockbuster, can't-miss (unless you have a hot date) game. But one is alluring and three others significant.

   --South Carolina's Steve Spurrier returns to the Swamp with a decent bunch whose sole loss in the last six games was to LSU. He will combat Florida's raucous crowds by alternating quarterbacks, allowing the ol' ball coach to convey the play on the sidelines.

   Some staggering statistics speak to Florida's dominance in its past five outings. Here's one you may not have heard: In the first quarters, it's the Gators 80, opponents zero.

   On the subject of stats, the Gamecocks boast the league's primo defense. For Florida, that will be a red cape being waved in front of a bull.

   Do the 'Cocks have a chance?

   --Surprise: Alabama has been whupped two straight by Miss'ippi State. In their past three encounters, the Crimson Tide is without an offensive touchdown. Bama has locked up the SEC West title, but a defeat would shatter its national title aspirations.

   Is there any way Bama can lose?

   --Georgia can push Auburn to the brink of getting shut out from the bowls. The Tigers would dip to 5-6, with Bama left on the schedule. Now that Phil Fulmer is toast Tommy Tuberville is the only SEC coach whose job hands in jeopardy. 

   Should Tuberville be replaced if the Tigers go 5-7, or even 6-6?

   --The prize to the Kentucky-Vanderbilt winner is bowl eligibility, though the loser will get another chance. Each plays Tennessee later.

   Meantime, the Volunteers are idle -- officially. It only seems that they have been the past several weeks.

   Excited about a no-loss Saturday, Vol fans?

   --    

   Regarding the competition for the biggest bust this season, the leader in the schlub-house is . . . . Tennessee. In fact, this bust now rivals Pamela Anderson's.

    Phil Fulmer and staff evidently checked out Monday when the coach's forced resignation was announced. The Vols were favored over Wyoming by nearly four touchdowns; in a normal year, it would have been 40-plus. But all of the players who hailed Fulmer last week did nothing but validate the decision made by UT brass.

   The silver lining: Relatively few Orange backers saw it. The building was two-thirds full -- for homecoming.

   Auburn gave Tennessee a run for the biggest-bust money at its own homecoming. The Tigers found themselves in a third-quarter tie before drawing away. The grumbling faithful reminded themselves that, hey, their team had not won since September.

   Tommy Tuberville, nearly sacked by the school a few years back, has to wonder if he will be joining Fulmer in the unemployment line.

   Which team gets your Biggest Bust award (presented by Pamela Sue)?

   This news flash, courtesy of the Knoxville Sun: Butch Davis of North Carolina is No. 1 on the Vols' wish list.

 

   

Hold Your Fire: Coaching Moves Too Early?

   Tennessee is among four major colleges that have declared their intentions to replace the head football coach after the season. Athletics directors, under pressure from alumni, should ask themselves if it's better to resit and wait until the uniforms are stored for the winter before announcing the dismissals.

   Here's an example why:

   Among Georgia high school players who have committed to the Vols, one (Antonio Foster of Valdosta) has switched to Georgia Tech and two others (Toney Williams of Milton and Nigel Mitchell-Thornton of Stephenson) are wavering. This, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Since Phil Fulmer learned his fate, effective after the season, Williams already has heard from four SEC teams, plus two from the ACC.

   Is this a fair and legitimate tactic by those schools?

   Had the Vols waited another five weeks, prospects would more likely be locked in, with fewer options. These midseason sacking announcements hurt recruiting, to be sure.

   Should Tennessee have held off until the season was done?  

   

    

Having Their Fill Of Phil

   Let's feel a little sorry for Phil Fulmer. He was loyal to his school. By all accounts, he played by the rules. He was a hard-working, though not innovative, coach.

   But let's not feel a lot sorry for him. He lasted nearly 17 season at Tennessee, longer than anyone not named Paterno or Bowden can expect nowadays. He basked in glory, won championships and got to coach Peyton Manning. And he walks away with a staggering $6 million.

   For that, Volunteer fans should be outraged that athletics director Mike Hamilton awarded Fulmer a long-term extension after last season when he knew the Big Orange Man was falling out of favor. Were I a booster, I would tell Hamilton to figure out how to pay off this bonanza without raising ticket prices the next several seasons. The deal was a terrible decision by the A.D., whose primary decisions involve the employment status of the head football coach.

   Farewell, Phil. You'll be missed.

   

   

Rating Non-League Schedules: And The Toughest Goes To ...

   With blather about BCS rankings soon to reach a crescendo, much of the debate deals with teams' schedules outside of their league. The degree of difficulty can be a make-or-break for school vying for big bowls.

   Though the season is far from over, many SEC schools have concluded their non-league agenda. So, let's rate each member's outside-the-family games, from easiest to hardest.

   12.) Kentucky: Louisville (good), Middle Tennessee (OK), Western Kentucky (just out of Division 1, formerly known as 1-AA), AA), Norfolk State (Division I). Too many creampuffs.

   11.) LSU: Troy (decent), Tulane (not), North Texas (maybe the weakest on the top level), Appalachian State (Div. 1, but a good one). Not a single stiff test in the bunch.

  10.) Alabama: Clemson (overrated at start of season), Tulane and Western Kentucky (see above), Arkansas State (weak). Sure miss the Bama-Southern Cal classics.

   9.) Ole Miss: Wake Forest (underachiever), Memphis (OK), Louisiana-Monroe (weak), Samford (Div. 1). The Deacons turned out not to be Demons.

   8.) Mississippi State: Georgia Tech (very good), Middle Tennessee (see above), Lousiana Tech (weak), Southeast Louisiana (Div. 1). Big drop-off after the Yellow Jackets.

   7.) Tennessee: UCLA (relative softie in BCS), Northern Illinois (OK), UAB and Wyoming (both pushovers). If not for these, Phil Fulmer might be gone already.

   6.) South Carolina: Clemson (disappointing), North Carolina State (ACC punching bag), UAB (weak), Wofford (Div. 1). Credit to Gamecocks for its par of ACC foes.

   5.) Auburn: West Virginia (very good), Southern Miss (weak), Louisiana-Monroe (weak), Tennessee-Martin (Div. 1). Big drop-off after the Mountaineers.

  4.) Georgia: Georgia Tech (very good), Arizona State (disappointing), Central Michigan (decent), Georgia Southern (Div. 1). When season kicked off, Bulldogs might have been No. 1.

   3.) Vanderbilt: Duke (ascending), Wake Forest (see above), Miami Ohio (weak), Rice (weaker). Credit to Commodores for two ACC schools, though one (Duke) unexpectedly tough.

   2.) Florida: Florida State and Miami (getting better), Hawaii (rebuilding), The Citadel (Div. 1). Two in-state rivalries always puts the Gators near the front.

   1.) Arkansas: Texas (doesn't get harder than this), unbeaten Tulsa (surprise!), Louisiana-Monroe (see above), Western Illinois (Div. 1). Splitting your non-league games is not good.

   Thoughts on the list? Have we overrated anyone? Underrated?

   Overall, it seems as if the SEC has gone soft. Hard to blame schools, given that the league schedule is such a gauntlet. Still, challenging non-conference matchups are few and far between.

   Agree? Or should SEC teams go the easy route?

 

   

An Upset Special (Maybe)

   I don't look for an upsetting Saturday in the SEC. But no weekend ever fully plays to form, so let's look for a potential you-gotta-be-kidding-me outcome.

   In four of the five games, the home team is favored by at least a touchdown.

   Ole Miss over Alabama (favored by 12)? Nah. The Crimson Tide healed from a bye week, and the Rebels won't catch anyone by surprise again after ambushing Florida.

   Vanderbilt over Georgia (favored by 10 1/2)? The Commodores might feel insulted at being Georgia's homecoming foe for the 21st time, but that alone won't wake up a dormant offense. 

    Mississippi State over Tennessee (favored by 7 1/2)? Could be. But I sense the Volunteers rallying 'round the round-ish Philip Fulmer and winning one that they should.

   Arkansas over Kentucky (favored by 12 1/2)? Now we're talking. The young Razorbacks grew up at Auburn, and you know how kids can be affected by growth spurts. The Wildcats often fade this time of year when injuries compromise their depth, and they've suffered some biggies of late.

   Which game do you feel an upset coming?

   As for LSU-South Carolina, the visiting Tigers are 2 1/2-point favorites. I see them rebounding from the shameful game at Florida. The Gamecocks, who have won four straight but not in wow fashion.

   How do you call this one?  

What We Learned, No. 4: Hey, Phil, Make Room For Tommy

   It may be unfair to rip on Tommy Tuberville for Auburn's anemic offense (193 yards, one offensive touchdown) while playing a few days after he jettisoned coordinator Tony Franklin.

   I'm going to, anyway. Why not wait, T.T., until the bye next Saturday, which would allow you more time to tweak the sorry-so-far spread? The mid-week staff switcheroo was a disruption that might have titled the scales toward Arkansas.

   There isn't much room on any seat when the rotund Phil Fulmer occupies it, but he'll have to slide over so Tuberville can plop down on the coaching hot seat.

   Does he deserve to be there?

   As for Tennessee, the 24-12 score against Georgia hides the fact that the Volunteers were dominated. (One rushing yard? Oh, my.) As Larry Munson would say, the Bulldogs crushed them with a hobnail boot. Barring a turn-around this year, if The Big Orange Pumpkin is back next season, the only plausible explanation is his costly $6 million buyout.

   Would you contribute to it, Vols fans?  

What We Learned, No. 5: QB Dilemmas Solved? Maybe

   Chris Smelley and and the Gamecocks lacerated Ole Miss for 405 yards and 31 points even though Rebels defensive coordinator Tyrone Nix was on South Carolina's staff last year. What should have been an inside edge became an outright clinic by USC and, perhaps finally, a halt to Steve Spurrier's season-long quarterback merry-go-round. Spurrier made the proper call in switching from Stephen Garcia to Smelley in midweek.

   Are you Gamecocks all on board with Smelley?

   Too early to tell at Tennessee, given that the Volunteers begged only 13 points off Northern Illinois in a narrow win. First-time starter Nick Stephens was steady in place of Jon Crompton, but he must crank it up against Georgia this week. 

   Do you think Stephens is the guy for the Vols?

   The Bulldogs enjoyed a week off, allowing running back Knowshon Moreno and others to heal. which makes it doubly tough for Tennessee, its season teetering on the brink.

   What's your take on the UT-GA tilt?

   

Mixed Signals-Calling

   Coaches at Auburn and Tennessee, whose teams slopped their way to a 14-12 game Saturday that was won (or not lost) by the Tigers, have examined their queasy quarterback situations.

   Tommy Tuberville has decided to stick with Chris Todd, keeping Kodi Burns in reserve. Phil Fulmer, by contrast, has put Jon Crompton on notice that he could step aside for Nick Stephens.

   Why the different approaches? Easy. Auburn is 3-1, still in the SEC West hunt. Tennessee is 1-3 and on the ropes. 

   Also, if Stephens gets the nod, he'll break in against a soft touch, Northern Illinois. Then it's back to the SEC grind.

   You make the call, Tigers and Vols fans: Todd or Burns? Crompton or Stephens?

   

   

4th Weekend Lesson: Tigers', Vols' "O" Grade A Zero

   Yeah, yeah, the Auburn and Tennessee defenses kicked tail Saturday. But the Tigers can dismiss any SEC West title hopes if their offense doesn't perk up.

  Turns out, the 3-2 win over Mississippi State was no aberration. Auburn was so helpless in moving out of the shadows of its goal line Saturday that offensive coordinator Tony Franklin, who came to town on a white horse, took to calling quarterback keepers and sweeps -- stuff normally not found in the spread offense playbook.

   What can Auburn do on offense, besides pray that running back Brad Lester heals?

   As for the Volunteers, where have you gone, David Cutcliffe? Oh, there you are, reviving Duke as the new head coach. UT sure misses your offensive coordinating. Your replacement, Dave Clawson, has a clueless quarterback, Jon Crompton, and an uncertain strategy. 

   Game stat of the SEC season: All seven of the Vols' second-half possession began outside their 35-yard-line, and four of those launched in Auburn territory. One lousy score resulted.

   Is it time to replace Crompton? Change the offensive approach? Beg Cutcliffe to reconsider?

    

Expensive Exit Strategy For Anti-Fulmer Camp

   If this is Phil Fulmer's last season at the Tennessee helm, he won't be leaving Volunteer-ily. The school would have to pony up a reported $5.5 mil to buy out the big fella.

  Vol fans: Would you contribute to the cause?

   With a third loss staring him in the face Saturday at Auburn, Fulmer was properly defiant this week. He and his staff "didn't all of a sudden get stupid" after reaching the SEC title game five times. "We know what we're doing."

   Anyone who watched the Florida debacle would question that statement. Losing is one thing; getting a new one ripped is quite another.

   What must Fulmer and the Vols accomplish this season to save his job?

Changing Light Bulbs In The SEC

A Yankee pal (well, he's an Indiana Hoosier) passed this along. Now, don't take it seriously, SEC faithful. It's just for laughs.

How about some "change-a-light-bulb" jokes for other leagues?

HOW MANY SEC STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

At VANDERBILT: It takes two, one to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at Harvard.

At GEORGIA: It takes two, one to change the bulb and one to stabilize the rolling beer cooler the bulb changer is using for a ladder.

At FLORIDA: It takes four, one to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get stoned off the old one.

At ALABAMA: It takes five, one to change it, three to reminisce about how The Bear would have done it, and one to throw the old bulb at an NCAA investigator.

At OLE MISS: It takes six, one to change it, two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

At LSU: It takes seven, and each one gets credit for five semester hours.

At KENTUCKY : It takes eight, one to screw it in and seven to discuss how much brighter it seems to shine during basketball season.

At TENNESSEE: It takes ten, two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lamp shade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and talk about how much they hate Alabama.

At MISSISSIPPI STATE: It takes fifteen, one to screw in the bulb, two to buy the Skoal, and twelve to yell, ''Go to hell, Ole Miss." 

At AUBURN: It takes one hundred, one to change it, forty-nine to talk about how they did it better than at Bama and Georgia, and fifty to get drunk and roll Toomer's Corner when finished.

At SOUTH CAROLINA: It takes 80,000 -- one to screw it in and 79,999 to discuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decent football team.

At ARKANSAS: None. There is no electricity in Arkansas