Another Awesome Saturday In The SEC

While wondering if the league's spotty quarterback play will doom its hopes of sending a rep to the BCS Championship Game, here are my thoughts on this weekend's games, listed in chronological order.
--South Carolina at Kentucky. Doubt that the Gamecocks' 31-point explosion at Ole Miss means their offensive headaches are cured. Chris Smelley remains at QB against a stout Kentucky defense that could force Steve Spurrier to go to his bullpen yet again.
--Vanderbilt at Mississippi State: Sure, the 'Dores are unbeaten, but they've built their record on a shaky foundation. They rank last offensively in the league, 10th on defense. Fortunately, they confront a team with a walk-on QB, Tyson Lee, in his second start. Look for another narrow Vandy triumph.
--Tennessee at Georgia: The buzz in Athens all week was the Bulldogs' being the nation's most penalized team. Oh, the horror! The Vols should be so lucky. Their offense is dead in the water. Two players were suspended. They are grateful to get outa town, where the natives are restless, but would prefer another destination than Athens.
--Arkansas at Auburn: An off-the-radar game has drawn the spotlight with Auburn's firing of offensive coordinaor Tony Franklin. Not to be overlooked are the Tigers forcing to employ two freshmen in the secondary. If the Razorbacks are ever gonna win, this is the time.
--LSU at Florida: It's no fun playing Florida under the lights in the Swamp. But the Tigers' formidable defense gets the nod against Urban Meyer's spread offense, which has lost the element of surprise. Florida's title hopes could go up in smoke.

Changing Light Bulbs In The SEC

A Yankee pal (well, he's an Indiana Hoosier) passed this along. Now, don't take it seriously, SEC faithful. It's just for laughs.

How about some "change-a-light-bulb" jokes for other leagues?

HOW MANY SEC STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

At VANDERBILT: It takes two, one to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at Harvard.

At GEORGIA: It takes two, one to change the bulb and one to stabilize the rolling beer cooler the bulb changer is using for a ladder.

At FLORIDA: It takes four, one to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get stoned off the old one.

At ALABAMA: It takes five, one to change it, three to reminisce about how The Bear would have done it, and one to throw the old bulb at an NCAA investigator.

At OLE MISS: It takes six, one to change it, two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

At LSU: It takes seven, and each one gets credit for five semester hours.

At KENTUCKY : It takes eight, one to screw it in and seven to discuss how much brighter it seems to shine during basketball season.

At TENNESSEE: It takes ten, two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lamp shade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and talk about how much they hate Alabama.

At MISSISSIPPI STATE: It takes fifteen, one to screw in the bulb, two to buy the Skoal, and twelve to yell, ''Go to hell, Ole Miss." 

At AUBURN: It takes one hundred, one to change it, forty-nine to talk about how they did it better than at Bama and Georgia, and fifty to get drunk and roll Toomer's Corner when finished.

At SOUTH CAROLINA: It takes 80,000 -- one to screw it in and 79,999 to discuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decent football team.

At ARKANSAS: None. There is no electricity in Arkansas